Feb
My 10yrs old step daughter will not listen,and I dont konw what to do anymore. 15mins ago I saw her smack my 3yr old in the face with the back of her hand,Then she tired to say she was playing ,she didnt know I was watching them though the crack of the door. We fought and fought for 3yrs to get her,finally we did since then she has done nothing but lie on us,write letters to boys saying she is being shown online,I guess on camra. Told the police my husband was beatting her,well she had her mother pushing the subject, She has not being doing her home work for over 12weeks going to school doing it during play time,And to beat it all My 3yr old came up the my husband today & was givinghim a kiss and started humpimg his leg when he asked where he seen that he said amber showed him. I dont know what to do,We are so close to just sending her back to her mothers but really dont want to b/c of the life style she lives,she likes to fight & scream all the time lives nasty,some1 help me please
Answer:
If I saw her smack my 3 year old in the face I would have went in there and smacked her right in the face. When you catch her in a lie punish her and stick to your guns. As for doing her homework make her sit at the table right in front of you and do her homework. don't let her get up from the table until it is done. Of course you are going to get lip but you have to let her know you and your husband are the boss and she is to obey you. As for the 3 year old humping your husbands leg I would definitely have a talk about it with your 3 year old and let him know that, that behavior is unacceptable and let him know that the step daughters behavior is totally bad behavior so he will know that if she tells him to do something maybe he wont. Then have a talk with the 10 year old and tell her that her behavior is not acceptable and she will be punished for it. What ever is her favorite item take it away. Not for a day or two for a month.
I read another comment about teen acting out that I really liked and the person mention take everything away from the kid all her cloths, all her items that she has and then give them to her one at a time when she is good. If she is bad take it all away again. Also with the cloths issue. Take them all out of her room and you choose the outfit she is going to wear to school and she has to wear that and she gets it in the morning. Let her know what it is like to have nothing, no priveledges at all until she behaves like a normal human being. She is only 10 so gain control now.
While you are trying to gain control make sure you show her love as well. Don't stop doing that. You want her to feel loved but the thing is she does not need objects or cloths or any of that to feel loved. Make that clear to her when she says you don't love me because you are taking everything away. You are going to have to do tough love on her to break her from her habits.
I would also get her some counseling to find out the root of the problem of why she is acting out. If her previous home was real bad something there could be contributing to her behavior.
Good Luck.
Answer:
Get her in some counseling. MAKE her do her homework even if you have to sit with her until she gets it done. Take away her computer and phone privileges. She is 10! She still needs love and acceptance from you both. Try positive reinforcement. And do not put up with the negative.
Answer:
You CANNOT send this child back…she is not an item at the store for heaven's sake.
BUT…she has obviously been sexually abused and may be acting out on your child.
Get her into a counselor RIGHT AWAY….CALL IN THE MORNING.
NEVER EVER EVER leave her alone with your child EVER.