Apr
Sort of confusing, but I'll try to explain clearly.
I'm nearly 20, and I live with my boyfriend and my 'daughter'. The daughter is 15, she’s one of my closest friends and I offered to adopt here after some events with her birth parents that left her life in pieces.
While I try to be a friend to her, my main priority is as her 'mother'.
Lately, my boyfriend and I’ve been having difficulties getting her to sit down and do the homework she hates. Sometimes she is rude and will back speak to us. I mean, it's rare, but when it happens it's awful.
Also, her and her girlfriend have been arguing a lot. They always make up but during the fight she is terrible to everyone.
Advice? =]
Answer:
Hormones. Teenager. Easy as that. That's how probably 95% of all teenagers act at some point in their “teens” obviously, lol, but on top of everything else she's going through, hormones, acne, homework, fitting in at school, clicks and groupies and this and that, she's having issues w/ her biological parents and has been taken in by someone who's usually a friend figure to her. Think if you had a friend who suddenly started bossing you around and acting like your parent instead of your friend what would that feel like? I'd go back to being the friend figure instead of trying to be mother so much. I mean she's only 5 years younger than you to begin with. I’ve friends who are 5 years younger than me and I value them as if they were my same age so it's probably not easy for her to differentiate the mother and friend rolls that you’re playing. It's hard being a teenager, let alone go through all the changes at home that she's going through. Be her friend, listen, speak, help her out with other friend situations and just try working in the homework thing and the back talk and explain to her that you don't appreciate it and let her know that you know you aren't perfect either and that you are trying to deal with the changes as well and everyone should make an effort together to make it work. Good luck
Answer:
well is just do what you would have like your mom to do to you. speak to her as Friends but i guess that You always have to be a mother first since she can't be your friend always but do no ever forget to see things from her prospective. children her age need to be listened to and also need to blow up from experience i state that the teenage years will happened right now or 5 years from now but she has to go through that just don't give up on her k
good luck
Answer:
Give a consequence - not being able to go out with friends, etcera… but, I'm about her age, and I think what works superior, in combination with a consequence, is reward. I mean, that's what real life is like - you work hard, you get rewarded. It could be in the form of money, or whatever you think she'd like…
Give a consequence to bad behavior and reward good behavior. Easy!
Answer:
her girlfriend?
is she a lesbian. 0_o
i think u should be a tiny more tough on her.
dont let her be rude to u all the time.
Answer:
just ground her if u r mean, if not sit down and talk to her with ur boyfriend.she has to learn, have expiriences and have consiquenses. or she’ll never learn
Answer:
Is there a Homework club at her school? My daughter has one at her school,but she does her homework so I don't have to send her to one.
Answer:
thats so totally weird, shes only about five years younger than you!
Answer:
hm u let her be a lesbo? wat ev thats not my problem but u hve to ground her like u would ur actual daughter…
Answer:
To quote “The daughter is 15, she is one of my closest friends” - you are a PARENT and NOT one of the “GIRL FRIENDS”. Stop acting like her best friend and be more parent. It's not your job to be her friend, it's your job to be MOM 24-7.
When she mouths off why tolerate it? Remove a privilege every time she does. When she gets to the point of being able to do nothing a few times then her attitude might improve. I'd also find out if the home work she hates is because she doesn't comprehend it or is frustrated with it and find a way to help her.
Answer:
As her 'friend' let her know that she has the ability to still speak to you on that level. And that you won't judge anything she tells you. As her 'mother' you need to make it clear that this attitude isn’t acceptable and that you will do your best to help her through things. She might also have a confused, misplaced feeling towards you as she sees you in both respects(friend and mother) As for the homework, maybe she just has a hard time and needs a tutor? Most teens don't care too much for homework anyway. She might not want to feel 'stupid'. Have you tried helping her with homework??? Communication can solve a lot of trouble if you can just get her to sit down and talk to you, preferably w/o the boyfriend around, as their may be jealousy issues there. Ask her views…you don't have to concur with them but she will feel like she is wanted and has a voice in what's happening.