Feb
As a parent what works for you in terms of handling situations with your children? Not listening, arguing with other siblings, etc.. What punishment do you use? What’s most effective for you? What do you struggle with?
Answer:
With my 6 year old daughter we take privledges and toys away now when she’s naughty. the biggest problem I have with her now is that she’s mouthy and she argues! some times I just don't know what to say back to her so I've just made it a point to tell her “I'm not arguing with you, do as your told” and ignore her if she persists. When she was younger and would throw tantrums in the store I would pick her up and leave whether my cart was full or not we just left, then for a while if she was acting up I would find a corner no matter where we were, that seemed to work well. I struggle a lot now with the mouthiness (like I stated before) and with her arguments she gets into at school i don't know what to tell her about it because they are so ridiculous to me (like I'm not friends with Taylor anymore because she always passes out my milk last)
Answer:
Consistency works and explaining rules upfront. I always try NOT to pit the siblings against each other and to teach them to resolve their own differences (very valuable skill).
I struggle with my reaction and anger esp when it is towards the end of the day and everyone is fatigued. I’ve to use a lot more techniques to calm myself before I have the ability to effectively discipline.
Answer:
Kids are like puppies, and need to be treated very similarly. Like dogs, children really want to please their parents. If they know you’re unhappy, the will often change that behaviour. Expressing your disappoinment in their negative behaviour is often better than plain anger.
You also need to set boundaries, and then allow freedom within those boundaries. For example, banning 2 children from going into the other's room, but allowing free play in a different room (eg. the family room). Or being able to stay out to a particular time (9, 10, 11… whatever) - as long as the homework is done, and lunches for school the next day is made. Breaking curfew results in consequences. You need these consequenses - specific punishments that are known beforehand. Like “If you do that, this is the punishment…” You need to leave room to escalate as well. Do not spank on the first infraction, but work your way up to whatever you maximum is.
Also, do not punish in your own anger. Take a deep breath, or six, or give yourself some time to calm down. Then you can apply punishment scientifically, in a cool manner. This is even more scary than shrieking, believe me!
Also, however close your relationship is, you really can’t be their friend. You’re their parent. You sometimes hear especially girls describing how their mother is their best friend. This really does not work well. You’re the parent, and you need to act like an adult. Play is fine, but only to a point.
But, give them your time as well. I’ve “dates” with my daughter. (We don't call them that!) But, just her and I going out for supper together. My fiance does the same thing, although for them, Saturday morning breakfast at a nearby restaurant is the key. They speak about all sorts of things, friends, problems, and even me (so I've heard!). It acts as a relief valve in their relationship, and I’ve found it works reasonably well for me as well. But, whatever you do, show interest in them, their schoolwork, etc. They may have trouble with the idea at first, but will come to love you for it pretty quickly.
Answer:
When my kids fight, I make them sit and hold eachother on the couch for 15 minutes. It works! At first they’re mad at eachother and don't want to hug, but I make them or they sit there forever. So they do it, and by the time the 15 min are up they are usually laughing and happy. The other thing I use is making my kids stand in the corner when they act up. That works too even when they are older because it is humiliating to them.
Answer:
i have a six year old that thinks she knows it all i think when you’ve other siblings in the house they feel left out so they act out for attention try speaking to them see how they feel ask them wat they want you to do try that before a punishment may be they just want a lil tlc cuz they’d all the attention when they were your first and now they have to share may be its just lack of attention?
Answer:
My baby is almost 7 months old so there really isn’t anything I have the ability to do.