Oct
At a playdate, a mom yelled at my child really for no reason at all. My son softly pushed her son because her kid didn't want to play a game. I was there and already speaking to my child, telling him that it was not acceptable and that the other boy does not have to play if he doesn't want to. She came up behind me and yelled “NO! NO” in my child's face.
He was stunned, and stated he wanted to go home, but instead went to another area to play. Later he asked me why that mommy yelled at him. I told him that she didn't want him to push, but she should not have yelled.
I didn't want to cause a scene so I didn't state anything at the time, but I did email her later telling her to never yell at my child again and that next time I won't keep my mouth shut.
She has not replied and isn’t coming to playdates that we are attending. Our playgroup has many activities to select from, so it seems like she’s avoiding us now by attending activities that I don’t go to.
Do you find it acceptable to yell at someone else's child? Even if the parent is present? Or am I wrong? I personally don’t want someone else trying to discipline my child when I am already taking care of the situation. I felt as if she was implying that SHE knows what is best for MY child.
Answer:
In your case, this mom was clearly in the wrong.
But as a mom, i will reprimand somebody else's child when:
the real parent refuses and the behavior is continuing
the real parent is nowhere to be found
Personally, i get sick of parents who let their (older) children run loose without any form of self-control whatsoever. This doesn't mean toddlers pushing each other on play dates - toddlers push, bite, and do all sorts of toddler behaviors. That's how they learn. And if you were already handling it . . . then there was no reason for somebody else to step in.
Answer:
I’m 68 years old and father of two. If I were in a situation where I seen one child being a bully and the parent not doing anything to reprimand the child you can believe that I’ll even in front of the child's parents. However in this case you were already disciplining your child and if anything she should have thanked you!
Jim B.
Answer:
She was out of line. If you were already speaking to him then she should haven’t stated anything. You were right to not have caused a scene (don't know if I could have restraint like that) but saying something to her was good just to let her know about herself. If she is avoiding you then it's her lost and I wouldn't worry about it.
Answer:
i agree with you. if you were handling it then great. no you should never yell at someone else's child. Correction however if the child is wrong or hurting someone else I don't have a problem with.. ie if someone else's child is hitting my child I ask them to stop. If the child doesn't I bring them to their parents.
Answer:
It is completely NEVER appropriate for anyone to yell at someone else's child. Personally, I don't even think parents should be “yelling” at their own kids, much less some other adult.
It's probably ideal she's avoiding you. People like that shouldn't even be at play groups.
Answer:
hell no! If anyone yelled at me kids it'll be a boxing match! sounds like this Lady didnt care whether you were there or not, that’s lack of respect. she should have talked to you not come up and yell at your child.
Answer:
No it's not. There are plenty of days I wish it was though. You were already speaking to your child, I would have gotten right back in her face. Seriously. You don't do that.
Answer:
You're right.
Especially because you were already telling him that he shouldn't have pushed the other kid.
I think she's embarrassed and that's why she's avoiding you.
Answer:
If someone yelled at my kid I would be pissed
Answer:
You were completely right! She had no right to yell at your child. It would be different if you werent watching your child and they were about to hurt themselves or someone else. Even then it should not be done with yelling. Maybe a ok no sweetie you’ll get injured.
I’ll not grant anyone to yell at my kids and you’re better than me because I wouldnt have been able to wait for an email. Not in front of the kids of course.
If she’s avoiding you, she might be embarrassed. And if she’s mad and thinks you were out of line, then let her. Sounds like you dont want her child around yours anyway
Answer:
good, i hope she continues to avoid you!!! she’s horrid. it is absolutely wrong to yell at a child anyway- i have never yelled at somebody elses even when they’re being bad and their parents arent doing anything!
you were already doing your job of telling him to behave- even if your sonhad been biting him or throwing blooming hot rocks at him, you were there and dealing with him and she shoulds have kept away!
Answer:
I feel the only way anyone should fuss at someone else's kid is if they’re babysitting or if the other parents doesn't seem as though they’re going to discipline. I’ve been in the same situation only the other way I fussed at my friends 2 yr old for pushing down my 5 months old b/c she didn't even tell her daughter it was mean to push babies. She got mad and told me to never yell at her kid b/c she'll would punish if she thought it was necessary. But I feel if the parent is punishing then you have no right to say anything to the kid.
Answer:
You DONT ever disiplin someone elses child while the parent is there, and you dont ever yell like that at someone elses child if the parent is not there…You’re absoulty right…but you should have stated something to her then and there….and made her apologise to your son.
I had a photographer taking photos of my daughters group last year, and the children were being children, and she chose to yell only at my daughter and she put on a brave face until the picture was done, then came to me and started bawling… i went straight to the photographer and told her to apologize to her NOW and that wasn’t called for..and i did it infront of all the parents.
Answer:
since you were already talking with your child she shouldn't of yelled at your son because now he probably feels all left out if you know what i mean… like if both of you were picking on him, and no it wasn't acceptable because you were already taking care it… so she should of kept her mouth shut. You’re in the right, though if you weren't telling your son that was wrong then she should of just told your son not to do it but without yelling.
Answer:
If your child is young, I wouldn’t “yell” at them. If you were already handling the situation, I wouldn't say anything at all. However, if the behavior had been ignored or hadn’t been noticed, I would probably go over and gently ask the child not to push my child again. I think the way this woman acted was inappropriate. I have been known to tell kids at the playground not to throw stones up in the air. I don't want my children to be injured. I think most mothers realize that it really does “take a village” to ensure the safety of everyone involved. But, like I said, she was out of line and there was nothing wrong with you letting her know that.