Mar
Here's the thing, my oldest son is 3 years old…he turned 3 January 20th…he was potty trained at the beginning of January. He has a new baby brother, who's about 6 months old now, born back in October 2008. Now, my son potty trained perfectly, and did seem ready for it, psychologically, mentally, emotionally…and now, for the past couple of months, he's been pooping in his pants…I know he is ashamed and feels bad, but he just can't seem to help himself…nor seems like he wants to…
And now, for the past couple of weeks, he's been peeing in his pants, every once in a while, though…What’s up? Is he jealous of his baby brother…which, by the way, he seems to love him and gets along wonderfully with him…no aggression shown towards his little brother whatsoever…just love!
What can I do to help him get back on track? I have the ability to only reward/bribe him so much…lol…and it's really not helping…What should I do to get him FULLY potty trained for good?
*Note, he’s a terribly picky eater, which we're working on getting him to eat more balanced and healthier meals…but while visiting his grandmother a while back, he was really constipated…and went to have a BM and when she wiped, she noticed a tiny dot of blood…which my son must have seen as well….he’s extremely freaked out by blood…so now I am wondering if he has been a tiny traumatized by that and that's where this whole problem is stemming from…
Any tips, tricks, recommendations and/or advice is GREATLY appreciated!!
I just need help and I know my son hates doing this….thank you!
Answer:
Yes, he could have seen the blood, but it is more likely that he is looking for attention from you. He sees his brother getting special one on one time from you when he gets his diaper changed, but he's at the point where he’ll be losing that time.
You could try using yourself as the reward/bribe
Answer:
I also have a three year old who has a younger sibling. She also sometimes “regresses” when things around her are different or upsetting. I would just go back to what you did when you first potty trained him and be supportive. I doubt that it is intentional, it just happens. If you are really concerned speak to his physician for help.
Answer:
He has been potty trained before, and there is no reason to think he won't be again. I don't know what will work with your child. I agree it is a reaction to the new baby - even if he loves him to pieces. Once again, you will have to do the superhuman parent thing, and stay calm and patient. Maybe it wouldn't injured to have him help you change the baby and remark casually (but not in a way that makes it sound like you're angry with baby) that you wish the baby could use the potty like his clever large brother does. You could tell him all about when he was a baby and wore nappies (diapers) and how you loved him then, but are even happier now he doesn't need them.
The eating/ BM thing probably does impact here somewhere. Perhaps you could focus less on his picky eating, just for a short time (without undoing your good work). Wait till the other business is sorted.
If he had a hard BM and it hurt, this would easily explain the problem. I think you need expert help with this. If he is quite good at understanding, you could talk to him. You could let him have a tiny tub of 'magic cream' like vaseline (petroleum jelly) to dab on when he needs to 'go' - if he believes it will work, then it will!
Answer:
Most children regress a couple of months after training (our health centre sister warned us and it did happen) it usually lasts a few weeks. It sounds like he is holding on to his poo due to fear and it just “gets away from him”. Give him lots of water and fruit and veggies. Include some bran or prunes in his diet so he is not constipated. It will improve. Just perservere and do not punish him
Answer:
He may very well be regressing because he wants the attention that the baby is getting. My oldest son did that when my middle child was born among a whole lot of other things. I had to punish him to get him back on track. He cares about his brother too but it was all about the fact that his brother got more of mommy and daddy's attention then he did. I would punish him by taking away certain privileges and not allowing him to do certain things. Also when he did do the right thing i rewarded him nicely. I also had a speak with him about why he has to use the potty and his baby brother doesn't. I also explained that soon his brother will use the potty too.