May
i babysit this 4 year old girl and i love the kid to death but she's SUCH a brat!!! she wines instead of asking, and she pouts if she dont get her way. her 2 year old sister is very sweet and hopefully will stay that way. but the 4 year old is HORRIBLE and i feel like ima lose it. her parents stated i can correct her (eg. time a out, a spanking but not too hard) is it just gonna take time and she'll grow out of it or what? i mean, i do everything for the kid and i try and try but she's SUCH a brat. i also dont like to tell her parents when shes bad cuz they wanna know why and i dont think their kid bein whiny is going to count to them as being bad
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tell the childs parents that she is good but at times she gets very cranky. ask them if they could speak to her about it. by you letting her get away with it is only gonna make it worse.
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When she is being a brat just ignore her completely.
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then dont give her what she wants..EVER, be mean right back.
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I’m a nanny for two boys ages 5 and 10. I'm going to give you an example of how I deal with their rudeness:
5 yr old: I want a snack
me: no eye contact, no response
5 yr old: HELLO I WANT A SNACK
me: (calmly without attitude) I'm sorry did you say something, I don't think I heard you, try again.
5 yr old: SNACK, SNACK
me: try again
5 yr. old: Can you get me a snack
me: (with eye contact, calmly) I think you forgot to state something
5 yr old: May you please get me a snack
me: Why yes I would love to get you a snack, Thank you for asking so politely, what would you like?
The 5 yr old is much easier to work with than the older one. He has the ability to be very demanding and disrespectful but I handle it in much the very same way.
10 yr old: Get me water, Now
me: no response, no eye contact
10 yr old: HELLO WATER…. NOW PLEASE
me: (calmly) I have the ability to hear your voice, but I'm not hearing the correct words, try again
10 yr old: UGH…. CAN YOU GET ME WATER
me: (calmly) I would love to get you some water when you talk with manners
10 yr old: fine…. can you please get me some water
me: why yes I would love to get you some water, would you like ice?
10 yr old: YES I WANT ICE
me: (calmly and sounding sad for them) uh oh, that didn't sound very nice, you might try one more time or go to your room, which do you select.
10 yr old: yes ice please OR
if he gives a big sigh with attitude/UGH…. me: (with a calm voice) since you selected to be rude you may now go to your room.
He usually stomps and runs up the stairs and slams the door. He is a work in progress. I have only been his nanny since he was 8.5 so its been tough to teach him to be respectful. His past nanny allowed him to walk all over her, and I’ll not put up with it. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of time.
I wouldn't spank a child that is not yours. Giving choices is usually a good way to go. You might take choice 1 - doing something nicely and respectfully or you may take choice 2 -sitting in time out/going to your room, etc.
Also when putting them in time out this is how I do it.
If its a first offense I state go sit in time out until you’re ready to talk. Typically they will sit on the stair for a few seconds before saying they’re ready. If you walk over and they have their arms folded or a cross face, on the verge of crying, etc. Tell them calmly I don't think you’re ready to speak, take a few deep breaths and let me know when you are ready to be calm.
Then when they’re ready to speak ask them 3 questions:
1. Why did you’ve to go to time out? (They need to respond that THEY did something wrong, and take responsibility for their actions) If they don't want to state or start blaming someone else then reply. I don't think you are ready to speak, sit here and think a bit longer and let me know when you are ready.
2. Why was that wrong? or Why should you not do that? They should respond with it was perilous, I should obey you, it was uncaring, etc. Again if they don't have a good answer you leave them there to think
3. What will you do next time? They should reply I will listen to you, I will ask my sister to give me the toy and not hit her, etc.
Even at a young age they have the ability to give short answers that allow you to know they understand. The 5 yr old I watch will sometimes give one word answers such as. Why are you sitting here? “Spit” and then I have to pry more words out of him with questions like. Did you spit, and he says yes. Where did you spit…. on my brother, etc.
I usually give the younger boy a high five when he gets all the answers done correctly just to end everything on a happy note.
If he does the same thing he already had to sit in time out for I have him sit there for at least 5 minutes before we talk (5 minutes = 5 yrs old) Then if he’s ready to talk we go through it all again. If there’s a third offense I double the time 10 minutes. I've only told the boys this would happen, and neither of them have pushed the limit that far.
Hope this helps…. I know its long, but I comprehend how difficult it can be to work with kids. Good Luck
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When the kids I watch are becoming bratty or whiny… I would never spank them. It just seems horrible to hit some one else's kid. Usually if I talk in a stern voice and explain why they shouldn't talk or act like that, they get a little superior. If not then sending them to their room and only being granted to sit on their bed until they are ready to be nice usually works. Or time outs with no toys work too. I think the 4 year old gets like that only because she wants or needs a tiny more attention since sometimes I am a little busy with her 1 year old sister.
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What you need to do is tell the child that’s not the way to ask for something and when she can ask for it right you’ll listen. Then until she does not whine and asks right then say thank you for asking without whining and now yes you can have what you want. spanking does not instruct the child. I am sorry and dont take it wrong if I found out my child was slapped for whining I would hit the sitter. Whining is not a good reason to slap a child! EVER! That habit is something that needs to be told is wrong and IGNORED till they do the right. Punishing them only teaches them that they are being punished for asking for something NOT that the mannor they were. Trust next time tell the child no and say she has to ask right. Spanking is only teaching its ok to hit. she needs to know your rules! you need to be straight with your rules.
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Are you sure babysitting is the appropriate “career” for you? I can't imagine having a babysitter that comes on the internet to ask people how to handle my “brat”. I'd fire you immediately if that was the case.
She's a toddler. Toddlers whine and over react and pout and….. you get the point. The problem is that she KNOWS if she does those things, she'll get what she wants. So just simply don't give into her. I know it can be annoying, but you're the adult and you need to stay calm and professional. Don't let it frazzle you so easily. Just explain to her calmly that its very difficult for you to comprehend her when she does that and that she needs to speak like a massive girl. Then ignore her. If she throws a complete temper tantrum, just continue to ignore her and do whatever you're suppose to be doing (the dishes or vacuum or whatever). When she calms down and asks nicely, THEN you can give her what she wants (within reason of course). If she continues with the whining and pouting, then she can sit on the couch until she's ready to act right.